This saying "Curiosity Killed the Cat" has got me quite curious lately. I think I got the gist of it.
If one is curious all the time, it rules over ones mind and then it will eventually kill you. Kill you, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. As you sit there, and rot away from trying to figure out the cause of the curiosity!!
Here is a quick short story that I feel is very real and the curiously of the situation is what got the better hand for me.
We, my children and I, were blessed with a miracle of a mother robin designing a beautiful nest under our deck this spring. She laid four perfect blue eggs!
A few days after discovering the eggs, my children, a friend of mine and I, were able to watch them all hatch into beautiful miracles of life.
A few days after this, my dog, had discovered the nest - I believe this came from the adventures of the mother swooping at him. He continuously monitored the nest and the mother continued to protect this home she so carefully built and loved.
As the babies, had some fuzz on them, we discovered the mother dead. Now -- I was very saddened by this. I monitored the nest, to make sure there was no activity from an adult robin.
I now have them on a warm water bottle, with a blanket ( over the bottle and a little over them ) . In the morning I will call the closest zoo and ask for help or for them to take them in and help me keep them alive.
I am not sure that I am a help or hindrance to this situation, yet, I souly believe that there was a reason that this all happened. Yet, I know that I am not going to know if they live or die, unless I try to do my best and help out. They will possibly die eitherway, but at least I tried.
Gods creatures are amazing and if I am allowed a minute to watch them or how they grow it is a miracle!!
Tonight I am truly grateful for my HP and how evident he is in my life!!
Hugs to my readers!!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Lemons into Lemonade
There are many times that I have wondered, WHY ME, WHY NOW, WHY THIS, WHY THAT. I kept asking why and never really heard an answer. Was it that I was possibly not looking at what I needed to at that very moment, instead of living in the moment, I was looking for answers that were not evident. Maybe it was me, trying to get out of the moment, not being willing to feel the feelings and walk through the pain and growth that was in front of me. Maybe the answers were actually sitting right in front of me, they were just not the ones I wanted or that they were not as prominent that I believed they should be.
There is a saying that I have heard in the past year and I really enjoyed hearing this - now that is - when life throws you lemons make lemonade!!
In the past year, I felt alot of betrayal and with that comes alot of pain and hurt. Walking through that pain and hurt is not something that I really ever imagined!! The simple fact that the betrayal would actually occur to me and the other fact that the feelings that came with that were sooo profound that I did not realize that one could live through them.
I am here to tell you that no matter what type of betrayal one is handed in life, the pain is inevitable and the misery, my friend, is optional. It is up to you to do with the pain what you need to and turn it into lemonade.
This, is not a an easy thing to. For the simple fact that living in fear is very paralyzing. To be completely in denial of the pain is much easier and simpler, yet, the simple fact that - walking through all of it - is that you will grow and become a much better soul and also like yourself much more if you walk through it!!
The pain that I felt in the past year, was unimaginable to me. I have had to deal with pain, and not medicating it on a daily basis. Yet, I can say that I would not face it all head on. I would put it off to the side, or not deal with it at that moment. In time I realized that pushing it to the side, only stunted my growth as a human being. The pain, that I felt before this year, had to be dealt with so that I had enough room in my soul to feel this pain and to walk through it.
I have been walking through it and not turning back, last night was another path through the pain that I was given and took. I walked into the pain, into the betrayal, into the lives of those around me that knew the entirety of the situation and I chose to walk the path and face the situation and not hide. For me to hide and run seems to be an easy road. That road, I did not chose last night I chose the road less traveled for me. To my surprise, it felt amazing!!! It felt awesome to be me and to be around those that did love me. It reminded me that I was not the one that needs to run away, it reminded me that I have become a beautiful woman with alot of integrity and strength and that I should not hide me. I need to be out in the open with the world and share who I am and what I have been through.
Last night, was another part of the lemonade and I believe that it tastes AWESOME!!!
How did you deal with the lemons??
There is a saying that I have heard in the past year and I really enjoyed hearing this - now that is - when life throws you lemons make lemonade!!
In the past year, I felt alot of betrayal and with that comes alot of pain and hurt. Walking through that pain and hurt is not something that I really ever imagined!! The simple fact that the betrayal would actually occur to me and the other fact that the feelings that came with that were sooo profound that I did not realize that one could live through them.
I am here to tell you that no matter what type of betrayal one is handed in life, the pain is inevitable and the misery, my friend, is optional. It is up to you to do with the pain what you need to and turn it into lemonade.
This, is not a an easy thing to. For the simple fact that living in fear is very paralyzing. To be completely in denial of the pain is much easier and simpler, yet, the simple fact that - walking through all of it - is that you will grow and become a much better soul and also like yourself much more if you walk through it!!
The pain that I felt in the past year, was unimaginable to me. I have had to deal with pain, and not medicating it on a daily basis. Yet, I can say that I would not face it all head on. I would put it off to the side, or not deal with it at that moment. In time I realized that pushing it to the side, only stunted my growth as a human being. The pain, that I felt before this year, had to be dealt with so that I had enough room in my soul to feel this pain and to walk through it.
I have been walking through it and not turning back, last night was another path through the pain that I was given and took. I walked into the pain, into the betrayal, into the lives of those around me that knew the entirety of the situation and I chose to walk the path and face the situation and not hide. For me to hide and run seems to be an easy road. That road, I did not chose last night I chose the road less traveled for me. To my surprise, it felt amazing!!! It felt awesome to be me and to be around those that did love me. It reminded me that I was not the one that needs to run away, it reminded me that I have become a beautiful woman with alot of integrity and strength and that I should not hide me. I need to be out in the open with the world and share who I am and what I have been through.
Last night, was another part of the lemonade and I believe that it tastes AWESOME!!!
How did you deal with the lemons??
Saturday, April 4, 2009
My weight loss story
Here is a some of the story that I am going to send into a few magazines.
My weight loss began with the notion that I wanted to fit into my pants - as I had grown out of all of them and my shirts were not fitting either. So, I saught out a personal trainer. ( Decided to do that instead of joining a gym, as I did not know where we would end up and I wanted to focus on many things, yet, did not know how to do it on my own )
The year and a half before I was introduced to my trainer I had been diagnosed with post partum depression, BI-Polar, miscarried a baby ( partial molar ), claimed bankruptcy and foreclosed on a home. A month or two after I was working with my trainer, my husband left me and a week later was seeing someone that a so called family friend ( was my personal assistant in my wedding and her father was our best man ).
With all of that in mind, I went into working with my trainer and became a very healthy person. Getting involved into the mind set that I was going to channel my emotions into the working out as well as eating better.
After I had done this, I can now successfully say:
I am no longer on any medications. I was found mis-diagnosed with Bi-Polar and I am no longer on medications for that. I was at one time on medications for Vaso Depressor Syn copy and took medications for that. I am now in the best shape I have ever been in my life. My cholesterol was high 2 years ago, it is now perfect. I have awesome blood pressure and a wonderful heart rate.
I am also training to run a half marathon in June. This has helped my workout regime and kept me on track and I am still continuing to loose inches and wieght.
It takes motivation, strength, courage and love to continue to take care of ones body and soul. Yet the gifts that you get from these activities and movements in life are phenomenial!!!!
Here are my measurements from the time I began up to my last measurements:
Initial:
Weight: 194
Chest: 46.5
Hips: 47
Bicep: 12.25
Thigh: 22.5
Waist: 41.25
Calf: 14.75
Body Fat: 34%
9-month:
Weight: 153
Chest: 39.5
Hips: 36.5
Bicep: 11
Thigh: 20
Waist: 32.5
Calf: 14.25
Body Fat: 26%
hugs from me
My weight loss began with the notion that I wanted to fit into my pants - as I had grown out of all of them and my shirts were not fitting either. So, I saught out a personal trainer. ( Decided to do that instead of joining a gym, as I did not know where we would end up and I wanted to focus on many things, yet, did not know how to do it on my own )
The year and a half before I was introduced to my trainer I had been diagnosed with post partum depression, BI-Polar, miscarried a baby ( partial molar ), claimed bankruptcy and foreclosed on a home. A month or two after I was working with my trainer, my husband left me and a week later was seeing someone that a so called family friend ( was my personal assistant in my wedding and her father was our best man ).
With all of that in mind, I went into working with my trainer and became a very healthy person. Getting involved into the mind set that I was going to channel my emotions into the working out as well as eating better.
After I had done this, I can now successfully say:
I am no longer on any medications. I was found mis-diagnosed with Bi-Polar and I am no longer on medications for that. I was at one time on medications for Vaso Depressor Syn copy and took medications for that. I am now in the best shape I have ever been in my life. My cholesterol was high 2 years ago, it is now perfect. I have awesome blood pressure and a wonderful heart rate.
I am also training to run a half marathon in June. This has helped my workout regime and kept me on track and I am still continuing to loose inches and wieght.
It takes motivation, strength, courage and love to continue to take care of ones body and soul. Yet the gifts that you get from these activities and movements in life are phenomenial!!!!
Here are my measurements from the time I began up to my last measurements:
Initial:
Weight: 194
Chest: 46.5
Hips: 47
Bicep: 12.25
Thigh: 22.5
Waist: 41.25
Calf: 14.75
Body Fat: 34%
9-month:
Weight: 153
Chest: 39.5
Hips: 36.5
Bicep: 11
Thigh: 20
Waist: 32.5
Calf: 14.25
Body Fat: 26%
hugs from me
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Misery is Optional - Pain is inevitable
There are things in life that one learns about. There are millions of motos out there to go with the lessons that we learn. Some of which, I think I just took for granted. For the motos, seem to be proven to be correct in my life!! One of which is the title of this blog.
Misery is optional - Pain IS inevitable.
Life on life's terms is not easy, nor did anyone ever toss me that thought, that it would be easy. Yet, when it comes at you broad sided, what do you do???
Do you find yourself sitting in the thoughts of HOW to fix it - control it - make it better? OR do you find yourself running from it??OR do you find yourself wallowing, feeling sorry for yourself, deep in pity? OR do you find yourself reaching for a greater power and asking for direction and strength??
Honestly, I do all of the above - from beginning to end!!
Yet, where I am in life today, is the at the place where I KNOW in my heart, mind and soul that I need to reach out to a higher power, one that can help me. For I will live in misery if I do not seek out that power, that direction, that strength.
Misery does not really soot me well. For it interrupts my journey in this life. It hurts the people I love, that includes myself. It wedges awful feelings in between me and my loved ones. It takes away any calmness or serenity that I have built up within. It brings a darkness and loneliness that is unbearably ill feeling within my soul. It feels like rotten milk building up within my guts. Misery does love company, for it will put my bottom into my bed and let me rot away there. Where no one, me or my loved ones, will benefit from.
Pain, which is inevitable, will come and go. If I allow it. If I do not allow it - it builds this defensive wall with misery and they feed off of each other, until they have won the battle and put my body into a deep depression.
Pain, when I allow it to flow as it naturally should, it comes out in many different forms. Normally, I am very crabby until I realize, that I am in pain and just need to cry!! ( sometimes it is just the venting that gets me to the actually feeling ) Once I have allowed myself the permission to feel this pain, I have allowed myself the permission to GROW.
Once I have followed through the pain, the miracle forms. Forms into a beautiful strength that my higher power has given to me. A strength that is utilized to do many different forms of many different things. It has now shaped me, my soul, into a deeper more beautiful being. Allowing myself to be that better person, friend, lover, parent and whatever else my soul was meant to be.
In all reality, the pain that is brought to us in life, has been brought for many reasons. Some of which one will never know until many moons later in life. Yet, that gift of pain, has now formed you into a better person. One whom you chose to be comfortable with and one that others want to be around!!
Pain allows you to be real, the person that your HP has meant for you to be.
Be true to you and feel the pain - leave misery behind!!
Misery is optional - Pain IS inevitable.
Life on life's terms is not easy, nor did anyone ever toss me that thought, that it would be easy. Yet, when it comes at you broad sided, what do you do???
Do you find yourself sitting in the thoughts of HOW to fix it - control it - make it better? OR do you find yourself running from it??OR do you find yourself wallowing, feeling sorry for yourself, deep in pity? OR do you find yourself reaching for a greater power and asking for direction and strength??
Honestly, I do all of the above - from beginning to end!!
Yet, where I am in life today, is the at the place where I KNOW in my heart, mind and soul that I need to reach out to a higher power, one that can help me. For I will live in misery if I do not seek out that power, that direction, that strength.
Misery does not really soot me well. For it interrupts my journey in this life. It hurts the people I love, that includes myself. It wedges awful feelings in between me and my loved ones. It takes away any calmness or serenity that I have built up within. It brings a darkness and loneliness that is unbearably ill feeling within my soul. It feels like rotten milk building up within my guts. Misery does love company, for it will put my bottom into my bed and let me rot away there. Where no one, me or my loved ones, will benefit from.
Pain, which is inevitable, will come and go. If I allow it. If I do not allow it - it builds this defensive wall with misery and they feed off of each other, until they have won the battle and put my body into a deep depression.
Pain, when I allow it to flow as it naturally should, it comes out in many different forms. Normally, I am very crabby until I realize, that I am in pain and just need to cry!! ( sometimes it is just the venting that gets me to the actually feeling ) Once I have allowed myself the permission to feel this pain, I have allowed myself the permission to GROW.
Once I have followed through the pain, the miracle forms. Forms into a beautiful strength that my higher power has given to me. A strength that is utilized to do many different forms of many different things. It has now shaped me, my soul, into a deeper more beautiful being. Allowing myself to be that better person, friend, lover, parent and whatever else my soul was meant to be.
In all reality, the pain that is brought to us in life, has been brought for many reasons. Some of which one will never know until many moons later in life. Yet, that gift of pain, has now formed you into a better person. One whom you chose to be comfortable with and one that others want to be around!!
Pain allows you to be real, the person that your HP has meant for you to be.
Be true to you and feel the pain - leave misery behind!!
Friday, March 20, 2009
The Fear of Letting Go
I have found myself wondering, how letting go would help oneself. With that thought process I of course, was not doing any footwork, as I was very afraid to let go.
The fear of letting go ( in this case, an individual ) was far to strong. It seemed it would captivate me, thinking that if I let go, what else would I know? The fear of the unknown. The fear of the comfortable feeling that I knew so well. The fear of how hard will this next step be. The plain ole fear.
Than, I find myself realizing, the fear with all of the above thoughts and more, was taking alot of needed energy. Energy that I need to motivate myself through out the day. Energy that I need to run after two small Children. Energy that I need to do my workouts. Energy needed to eat, drink, sleep and keep up on my well being. Alot of my energy being, shall we say, wasted in FEAR.
After realizing that my energy was being wasted and that the fear of letting go was way more overpowering than it needed to, I realized, why not just let go? Seriously, could you be more hurt than you already have? Probably not, if so, you made it through this part of your life, I am pretty sure you will make it through a hella lot more.
After letting go, it seems that the energy that I was wasting, has been able to be put to good use!!
Not only the energy that I was wasting, but the serenity that I was blocking, seemed to flow back in! It was a beautiful thing!! To be able to see the miracles that sit right in front of me, to be able to enjoy the moment as it is - Not as I would have it!! How Amazing!! The joy of letting go!!!!!!
I do not know what the whole entirety of letting go will entail, BUT, I do KNOW that it has been a freeeing experience. I just wish I had not waited so long!!
Now that I am outta the way -- The REAL miracle will prevail!!!
**Just need to keep letting go and NOT take it back ( theres the key )
The fear of letting go ( in this case, an individual ) was far to strong. It seemed it would captivate me, thinking that if I let go, what else would I know? The fear of the unknown. The fear of the comfortable feeling that I knew so well. The fear of how hard will this next step be. The plain ole fear.
Than, I find myself realizing, the fear with all of the above thoughts and more, was taking alot of needed energy. Energy that I need to motivate myself through out the day. Energy that I need to run after two small Children. Energy that I need to do my workouts. Energy needed to eat, drink, sleep and keep up on my well being. Alot of my energy being, shall we say, wasted in FEAR.
After realizing that my energy was being wasted and that the fear of letting go was way more overpowering than it needed to, I realized, why not just let go? Seriously, could you be more hurt than you already have? Probably not, if so, you made it through this part of your life, I am pretty sure you will make it through a hella lot more.
After letting go, it seems that the energy that I was wasting, has been able to be put to good use!!
Not only the energy that I was wasting, but the serenity that I was blocking, seemed to flow back in! It was a beautiful thing!! To be able to see the miracles that sit right in front of me, to be able to enjoy the moment as it is - Not as I would have it!! How Amazing!! The joy of letting go!!!!!!
I do not know what the whole entirety of letting go will entail, BUT, I do KNOW that it has been a freeeing experience. I just wish I had not waited so long!!
Now that I am outta the way -- The REAL miracle will prevail!!!
**Just need to keep letting go and NOT take it back ( theres the key )
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