This year I wore less make up

A good friend of mine said to me earlier this afternoon, do something for yourself, relax. My response to him was: I will schedule that for Friday. His response back was simply, tonight. He continued to say, the only one that will take care of you, is you. Put the children to bed, read a book, take a bath.

I pondered this as I cleaned up after a few suppers ( I get tired and leave the dishes a night or two ), cleaning up the kitchen. Also remembering a saying I heard a while back " A clean cupboard is a clean kitchen " - I didnt know what that meant so I had to google it, I found out later that it meant that if you start with the cupboard, one usually doesnt stop there, so you find yourself a clean kitchen. Tonight, I have just that. The cupboards are clean, the dishes are put away and the floor is swept. I was also able to vacuum the floor and fold five loads of laundry. I was also able to accomplish getting my daughters homework done for the night, watching over her as she did it, for confidence sake and also allow for the children to paint and color for some time while cleaning up. As well as all of that, I was also able to put in a total of 10 hrs of work today. However, I was unable to do my regular schedule workout regimen, as my work is a little more pressured at this time. OH and yes, of course, upon waking, we got our breakfasts, fed the dog and took him to the bathroom. As well as dropping and picking up the children from Daycare.

Its now 7:48 and the children are taking the dog for his potty break and then coming back up to get their pj's on for the evening. Where we will read and get them to shut their eyes.

As I write all of this down, I am also recalling all the gentle reminders of my dearest friends, reminding me that I am inspiration to some and also a great mother. At times, this day in particular, I was not remembering this at all. More along the lines of forgetting and getting down on myself on how life gets me at times. Some times I just want to pack up my things and just leave, yet, you know I ran from life so many times and it only caught up to me twice as hard when I slowed down enough to allow it to happen.

Lately, I have also really despised being single. All the different things that you face, the running with the children, the figuring out the bills on your own, taking care of the dogs poop as the children almost kill each other, walking through the grocery store as they fight - loudly, the tantrums that occur where you don't know whether you should pull out your hair or just lock everyone in their rooms, the battles between time - getting them to daycare so that I can hit my first meeting, scheduling a training for a marathon and not knowing how to fit in the running hours, not knowing the exact time you can get a meeting in, or just plain NOT KNOWING, how about the loneliness that you feel as you watch a movie - just wanting to be held some times would feel soo good, or how about you just plain ole wonder if this is how it will always be, alone - fighting the battles by yourself.

So, as these thoughts are upon me, I remember to reach out, whether its via FB, the phone or plain ole texting. You know, sometimes, when you see someone texting, you might just want to stop and think "Maybe they are actually reaching out for a first time or that they are having a horrible day and you just need to be patient with them".

Its days like these that make me WONDER - HOW DO IT DO -- well, than the major factor other than friends and family would be my HP. To my HP I owe my life today. For all the stuff that I just told you that I go through, did I tell you all the wonderful things I experienced today???

Today my joy and gratitude came from:

Listening to my children play peacefully while painting/coloring pictures
Listening to others at work, while they put their all into what they believe is the 'right' thing for their areas.
Listening to the rain as it cleansed the world
Watching the sun rise in the early A.M.
Gratitude that I have tools to do to what is the next 'right' action
Gratitude for my friends and family and their kind words
Gratitude for the teachings that I have had
Gratitude to know that I need to reach out
Gratitude to know that I have two beautiful children
Gratitude that I have all that I do and that my HP would never put more than what I can handle in front of me.


My life as it is today is very busy, very full and very amazing if I stop long enough to look at it and breath.

And as I close this -- I know that this year, I did not hide behind make up, I ran without it on, I lived without it on and I also did not hide behind it. This year, I am me. Me in the fullest, at all times. Either you like it or you dont.

Thank you for your patience with me and also for reading through this crowded blog.

May you rest well tonight.

Hugs